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7 amenities that would be better than dorm computer labs


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Every week the editorial board reflects on a current issue in Our View. The position taken does not reflect the opinions of everyone on the Hilltop Views staff.

In every residence hall there is a computer lab. In these computer labs there is a large percentage of dysfunctional, useless computers that give error messages at the mere touch of a human.

These computers and the labs that host them have long overstayed their welcome.

They must go, and luckily Alicia Vela, Director of Residence Life has confirmed in an interview with Hilltop Views’ Jacob Sanchez that Residence life is strongly considering removing the labs.

No one should be too heartbroken about the phasing out of these computer labs.

The internet is either painfully slow or only half of the computers are actually working.

The printers in the residence halls are typically jammed, out of paper or some other tragedy has befallen them. They have become obsolete.

Residence Life is currently facing a dilemma in deciding what should replace the computer labs. We have some ideas.

1. 24 hour cereal stations, with accompanying ice cream machines close by, for example.

2. Complimentary snack room with treats that keep up with seasonal trends, like pumpkin bread and hot chocolate.

3. Dining halls catering to the specific residence hall. Dujarie for example can provide canapes and caviar to their posh students, while Teresa caters to a more laidback population — pizza and tacos.

Not sure what East will have but we know that whatever it is,they will have to share among their dormmates.

4. A gym especially for the East hall folk that have to tread up the hill to get to the campus gym.

If they burn all these calories walking up the hill, then they have no calories left to burn at the gym.

Having a full gym in the dorm halls is the only way to #savethecalories.

A couple of treadmills, and elliptical with TVs hanging up with Chromecast hookups will allow students to binge watch their favorite shows and get fit.

5. An indoor playground, swings, see saws, the works. Monkey bars with bean bag chairs underneath them for those with not a lot of upper body strength. We can call this a gym too.

6. A brand new residence hall zoo could take up that space. There would be all the crowd favorites: ferrets, giraffes, puppies, camels and assorted fish.

There would be an increase in kittens and puppies as midterms and finals approach.

To appease the guys in suits, we can call this a de-stress zone.

7. The TV could be moved into that space, therefore making everyone’s movie watching experience less prone to interruptions.

Of course with any movie/TV room, there has to be a popcorn machine as well.

All jokes aside St. Edward’s University has a great opportunity to use this space for good rather than evil (I’m looking at you, “study room”).

It will be interesting to see what Residence Life does with the spaces if they choose to do anything at all.

Here is to hoping that they get student input and decide wisely in favor of caviar, monkey bars and animal friends.

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7 amenities that would be better than dorm computer labs