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LIPGLOSS: What I’ve learned or whatever

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It’s the end of the year. Exams are beating their battle drums on the horizon. Your professors are likely encouraging you to review the course materials in preparation for the final. Maybe a couple of them are getting all sentimental on you about how much they’ve enjoyed teaching the class, which makes everyone smile uncomfortably and shift in their seats. Anyway.

Hopefully this year o’ blogging has been useful and perhaps elicited a hearty, appreciative exhale. Here’s what this school year has taught me in terms of dating, romance, and all the other stuff I end up talking about on this blog.

The best dates are weird ones.

it’s true. I’ve been on my fair share of dates, but the ones I remember the most are the ones that aren’t necessarily “traditional.” Whether it’s a day at a near-abandoned zoo or an extremely Austin-y trip to the drive-in, weird – or slightly uncommon, at least – is usually good. Sure, gazing into one another’s eyes over coffee and conversation might sound romantic and great, but there’s only so much coffee and conversation you can ingest before it all starts to blend together into one amorphous date-blob. The weird ones stand out.

The Internet can be a dumb place.

Okay, I’m pretty sure I knew this before I started. This first came to my attention around 2002, if we’re being honest. What I mean is that the Internet can be especially dumb and problematic when it comes to doling out dating advice–especially when geared towards women, so full of expectations and contradictions. That dumbness touches everything, from teen magazines to self-started blogs. The best way I have found to tolerate these dumb Internet things is to make fun of them with my own Internet things. It’s worked out pretty well so far.

Dating is funny.

There’s no way around it. The idea itself is so wonderfully awkward and complicated and weird. Like, consciously attaching yourself to another person for varying periods of time for mutual enjoyment. Eating food together. Maybe wearing coordinating outfits on halloween. Going to events as a unit and more or less thinking as one. I think that’s probably why there’s so much inane material online out there about the dating world – it’s something everyone tries and fails to analyze. So if you stop trying, and just take a kind of blind joy in all of it and you’ll have loads of time to just enjoy your life and think about cooler, simpler stuff, like sea animals and foreign foods.

Romantic comedies will never die.

You might have noticed by now that one of my favorite movie genres, and talking points in general, is the noble romcom. No matter how hard I try, I never have it in me to treat these movies with anything other than genuine delight. Yes, they often reinforce horribly outdated tropes. Yes, they instill unrealistic expectations in the minds of our female youth. Yes, they exhibit some of the shoddiest screenwriting ever produced. But, nonetheless, they are by and large unstoppable fiery balls of glee and goofiness. No matter how hard I roll my eyes at myself when I sit down to watch another Sandra Bullock or Julia Roberts movie, I will always keep coming back for more.

Do what you want.

At the end of the day, you could be the proud reader of hundreds of “How To Successfully Date And Never Mess Up” articles and still have no idea what you’re doing. This is because nobody has any idea what they’re doing when it comes to romance. So no, I still don’t know the ins and outs of all the weird little rules about dating people. Those rules were likely made up in the first place by people who also had no idea what they were doing. It’s a big vicious romantic cycle. But if you just kind of ignore all the articles and listicles claiming to have the definitive answer to all your love problems, your dating life will probably be a lot more fun and chill.

I leave you with some immortal words from a Hollywood classic, “The Lizzie McGuire Movie:”

“Happiness is no mystery. It’s here and now, it’s you and me. Hey now, hey now, this is what dreams are made of.”

(And then Gordo smiles at Lizzie from offstage and your stomach does jumping jacks because it’s so cute you’re going to vom.)

Have a glossy summer!

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LIPGLOSS: What I’ve learned or whatever