Our world is progressing very rapidly, and in line with that progress, we are shedding many of the societal pressures put upon us, especially those relating to sexuality. Homosexuality has become more acceptable, casual sex is a normalcy and virginity isn’t a big deal anymore. But while women and men are being liberated from society’s expectations of sexuality,  the triviality with which virginity is looked at is in no way a positive step for men or women.

Growing up in a Christian household, I was always taught about the value of virginity. So I could tell you about how the Bible in 1st Corinthians chapter 6 verse 19 says “your body is a temple of God.” Or how God in Hebrews 13:4 demands purity in marriage and promises to judge sexual immorality.

I could explain the theological reasons why virginity is important, but that would first require you to believe in my god. And with a decline in the the amount of college students who identify with a religion, it is safe to assume that many of you do not particularly care what my God of the universe thinks of your sexual choices. And that is fine. For this reason, I will not bore you with a sermon, instead, I will defend the importance of virginity as the safe and smart thing to do.

Obviously, whether or not someone has had sex is no indication of how morally adept they are, but this does not make virginity any less important. Sex is as much an emotional act as it is a physical one. There is immense vulnerability in presenting one’s self nakedly before another and even more so in offering one’s body to someone and vice versa.

And for our society to pretend that sex is just sex is not liberating. The emotional toll of sexual activity is one we cannot liberate ourselves from. It is natural and we must acknowledge it lest we face the consequences.

In our modern times, we have developed innovations that allow us to avoid some of the physical consequences of sex, such as pregnancy and disease. But no condom or birth control can protect us from the emotional liability that comes with sex. So while I am not preaching abstinence in the name of God, I am preaching safety and wellness and awareness that sex is far more complex than penis-enters-vagina.

A study by the American Psychological Association cites that men and women who have engaged in sexual activity within an uncommitted relationship had lower self esteem than those without uncommitted sexual experiences.

While the study points out that a causal direction relationship between the two has not yet been concluded, it does support that there needs to be a certain level of emotional development in order for a person to be able to handle the emotional toll of sexual activity.

So it is imperative that our society celebrates virginity for school age children. Sixteen year-olds with their mood swings, and filled with uncertainties should not be celebrated for having sex. That is not liberation, it is an emotional prison.

In addition to safety, it is important that our society embraces virginity as an important aspect of manhood and womanhood. One of the attributes of our progressive society is that we value being in control. The decision as to who we share our first sexual experience with is a big choice and that should be valued. And should be seen as a big deal.

Sex, especially for the first time should never be an ‘oops’ or a ‘just get it over with’ moment. It should be well thought out and reasoned based on whatever criteria guides one’s life: be it religion or one’s own moral compass. So whether your first time is at age 18 or 40, it is a choice that should be made with utmost seriousness and certainty.