Long distance sucks: ‘Amor de lejos, amor de pendejos’

In today’s media, there are countless depictions of love withstanding distance. From Plain White T’s “Hey There Delilah” to Ed Sheeran’s “All of The Stars,” we’ve heard this theme bounce through our heads since we were kids.

There’s a famous saying in Spanish- Amor de lejos, Amor de pendejos. This translates to long-distance love is stupid love. For most people who have been through a long distance relationship, this saying rings true.

Now, I’m not merely making an assumption, more of an observation. To put it into perspective, there are certain factors that can often time rock the boat and more than likely result in the termination of the said relationship.

The first and maybe most important factor is maturity. There’s a certain level that both parties need to acquire before going head first into something serious such as a long distance relationship. They need to acknowledge that there’s a large amount of work, trust, and understanding that is placed on not only the relationship but on themselves as well. However, often times there are promises made that don’t come into fruition.

During this past fall semester, my best friend and cousin decided to try a long distance relationship. My cousin quit his job as a server where my best friend and I worked at to go back home, which is four hours away from Austin. Eventually, they broke up. In the aftermath of the breakup, I began to go what went wrong. I thought back to the worries my friend had when my cousin wasn’t around. How it was difficult to still have a relationship without them being physically present. Often times my friend sometimes would confide in me the troubles she had while in the relationship. Often times she would come to me to discuss problems, with him not being in Austin and if he was still loyal. I would sometimes observe how this affected her mentally and emotionally. I knew that they had agreed to try a long distance relationship, but I don’t think they had been able to understand the level of maturity needed to make something like this work.

Lastly, over time, people end up changing. People still continue to grow even when they’re not together, and they begin to figure out what they want out of life. They start to think about their plans for their own futures and what needs to change as they continue throughout their adulthood.

Both parties come to realize that what the relationship isn’t able to satisfy them as it did before. Try as they might, the people that started a relationship long ago, are no longer present. What takes their places now are totally different people, and their goals and desires are not the same as they were before.

Overall, I think that long distance relationships, while can be achievable, aren’t worth the stress and mental exhaustion that can be seen. There needs to be a high level of maturity and understanding between both parties.