Navigating consent: A guide

As young adults who are navigating all types of relationships every day, we hear about consent pretty frequently.

Consent is a large part of life. We ask for consent pretty frequently, whether we realize it or not. We also ask for consent in different ways, both in-person and digitally.

For example, when we’re on certain websites, we may be asked if we accept the website’s use of cookies. When we accept these, we’re allowing website to gather our information while we use the site. Digital consent can also exist in the form of texting with a partner or close friend.

The start of Sexual Assault Awareness Month is encouraging a heightened dialogue on consent and other issues related to sexual assault.

According to Sexual Assault & Violence Intervention Services Youth, consent is:

• Enthusiastic
• A clear “yes”
• Given freely
• Active, not assumed

It’s On Us (to stop sexual assault) is a national movement created during the Obama Administration to end sexual violence on college campuses. The It’s On Us chapter at St. Edward’s University is highly active in speaking to students about sexual assault prevention.

The mission statement of It’s On Us says that non-consensual sex is sexual assault. Sexual assault is known to cause emotional and psychological effects such as depression, flashbacks and post traumatic stress disorder.

Emma Hudgins, a member of the Workshops Subcommittee for It’s On Us at St. Edward’s, says that consent “isn’t so black and white.”

Hudgins says that it’s important to read body language when seeking consent. She adds that “even if you’re in a long-term relationship, you still need to ask for consent.”

She says that if you’re in a relationship where you feel hesitant bringing up consent to your partner, you should address it with them.

“I’m not saying rethink everything, but definitely think about why you’re afraid to talk about consent,” Hudgins says.

According to Teen Health Care, there are many misconceptions when it comes to consent, such as:

• Consent is only necessary for sex
• Consent “kills the mood”
• Clothes can signify consent
• The absence of “no” means “yes”
• Persuading someone to say “yes” is okay
• You only need to ask for consent once
• People (especially women) like having their consent violated

It’s On Us’ Consent Discussion Guide says that people should always be direct with how they express consent. The guide also highlights how consent doesn’t have to interrupt sex — in fact, it can be a part of it.

According to the guide, “checking in with your partner throughout sexual experiences can be a great way to build intimacy and understand your partner’s needs.”

Sydney Hicks, a psychology major, says that “consent is very important.”

“I think a lot of people don’t learn the right definition of consent. I think [consent] should be practiced more often, especially in college,” Hicks says.

If you have experienced sexual assault and need to talk to a trusted individual about it, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE.