I’m sitting in the empty newsroom at 11:30 a.m. on a Thursday. I only have two classes left, and I have already gotten emotional at the goodbyes I have experienced in the last couple of days. Ones with blue stained fingers from cupcakes and a feeling of emptiness from the way that “goodbye” and “thank you” are the only words I can think of as I am leaving people that have encouraged me to grow. 

I like to call myself Edward’s wallflower because my experience in college, even before I transferred to St. Edward’s, has consisted of me admiring everyone silently from a distance.

I was only physically on campus for 2 ¾ of a semester. For the rest, I sat in my room, staring at a screen and letting the days pass by one after another without realizing the things I was missing. 

This past semester is the reason why I am heartbroken writing this. After not belonging for so long, I feel like I have finally found a home here at the Hilltop. I am very thankful that this goodbye is so hard, because it means that I am leaving something important. 

Being a part of Hilltop Views, especially as the viewpoints editor this semester, has surrounded me with a group of like-minded individuals that are both extremely fun to be around and incredibly talented. They have given me the gift of community and support that I thought I would never have again after high school. 

After silently walking across campus with earbuds in for so long, I finally have people scattered around like confetti, making my last moments as a student ones that make me realize what college was supposed to feel like.

Transferring to St. Edward’s was the best decision I made in my academic career. From the first semester, it encouraged me to put myself out there and do the things that scare me, because that is when I truly live. 

I will greatly miss the swinging bench outside Moody (where I took many naps), hiding in the newsroom in Holy Cross, sitting under the tree in front of the Main Building, eating lunch with Ava, and walking across campus before class and admiring the people walking past me with impeccable style. 

If I could give anyone advice from what I learned from college, it would be to do things that scare you! Do things that make you uncomfortable because you will learn more from those experiences than from the ones that do not require you to move outside of your comfort zone. It’s a way to build character.

I would like to thank my lovely mother for supporting me throughout my whole life and for giving me opportunities in order to succeed in college. Thank you to my best friend Jeanene, for being my emotional support; Dr. Rist for being an incredible advisor who helped me find an academic plan; Professor Piña who was one of my first professors and who was extremely kind to me; Professor Yowell for teaching me how to be a journalist; to Nina for being the kindest, most patient editor-in-chief; and to all of my friends and siblings who have supported me in ways that they will never understand. 

On the last day of my career prep class, Dr. Clemmens asked us what we were going to be in 10 years, and even though that’s a long way away, it’s a good way to think. I would like to be an author. I thank St. Edward’s for allowing me to express myself and pursue even the silliest of dreams. I will miss it all so much.