Every week the editorial board reflects on a current issue in Our View. The position taken does not reflect the opinions of everyone on the Hilltop Views staff.

On Rand, on Ron, on Clinton, on Bush!

We are pleased to announce that Hilltop Views has gotten wind of a tremendous event: President George E. Martin has announced he will be running for President of the United States in 2016.

He has been nominated by the Brother’s From Another Mother’s Party, colloquially recognized as BAM, a congregation of devout Holy Cross Brothers who are dedicated to equality, social justice, economic prosperity and keeping Chick-fil-A open on Sundays.

And, during lent, Chick-fil-A will be changed to Fish-fil-A. Preach.

Martin has asked Brother Mueller to be his Vice President, citing his strong leadership abilities and endearing personality as an invaluable asset that will no doubt come in handy during the campaign trail.

Though some might raise questions of concern over the religious affiliations of BAM, the party’s platform is a staunch advocate of separation of church and state.

In fact, speaking of platforms, one of Martin’s major campaign tenants for his platform is that he will vow to lower the price of tuition for college students all across America.

We at Hilltop Views think this a great idea.

We have not only decided to endorse Martin, but we will also be donating money to his Super PAC: Martin and Bros.

We also invite our readers to purchase Martin/Mueller 2016 pins at the bookstore, as 60 percent of the proceeds will be donated to his campaign fund.

Currently, Martin’s announcement is receiving a lot of heat from typical candidates and their backers.

Martin is not a corporate mogul; he doesn’t have much political experience.

Maybe America’s hero does not have to be perfect. Maybe America needs an average Joe … or an average George.

Martin wants to take America in the same direction he took St. Edward’s University by helping the American people focus on global awareness, social justice and relations overseas — topics he feels our government is currently lacking in.

In regards to foreign relations, Martin is not guaranteeing a best friendship with Vladimir Putin, but he will not treat him like a low brow, for his own brows shall be held high.

Martin shall be the bridge between the U.S. and Cuba.

He will let forth the cigars and send forth the olive branch of hope.

With Martin at the helm in the Oval Office, the American people will truly have a leader who will allow them to “take on their world.”

Thanks Obama.