It was approximately 6:21 p.m. on March 25 when I was scrolling aimlessly through my Twitter feed and saw it.

“NO,” I exclaimed to no one in particular.

After a long day at school, I was in bed taking a break, and after seeing that tweet, I could not fathom how I would ever get up again.  Everything I believed to be true about marriage and love suddenly felt like a big fat lie. Feelings of betrayal, depression and denial overcame me as I tried to wrap my head around how such a terrible thing could possibly be true.

Gwenyth Paltrow and Chris Martin were consciously uncoupling.

I was beside myself. I may as well have been the one getting a divorce. Or consciously uncoupling, or whatever.

I get that not being able to get out of bed when you find out two people you have never met or even seen in person are calling it quits is incredibly dramatic, but I promise you, I felt it. Gwenyth and Chris apart are no match for Gwenyth and Chris together. In my eyes they were the ultimate team.

I’m not a huge Gwenyth Paltrow fan, but I must admit the lady’s got it going on. She is flawless, speaks perfect Spanish and is a succesful actress. And then there’s Chris Martin, who is hot, talented and sensitive. They hardly appeared together in public, but when they did, it was hard not to look.

And then they called it quits. Kind of.

I’m not sure what consciously uncoupling means. It feels wrong to say they are getting a divorce because if they were getting a divorce, they should have just said they were getting a divorce. I’m not a fan of the term “conscious uncoupling.” Is this forever? Are you sure? A divorce is a divorce. Separation is separation. Just say it.  

Also, can we take a second to acknowledge how cool it is you can announce your marital separation via a blog post in the 21st century?

I have never been married, but I do wonder what it’s like sometimes. I think the reason I admired Paltrow and Martin’s marriage as much as I did was because they made it look effortless and glamorous. I guess the fact that they had already been together for a decade reassured me that they were meant to be forever. Perhaps my hopes were just too high.

After two weeks of cringing every time anyone mentions the conscious uncoupling incident, I have come to accept the fact that Paltrow and Martin are no more. Martin was spotted without his wedding band at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony on April 10. I guess I’ll just have to find comfort in the fact that he is fair game now.

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