The Football Prophesies predict the outcomes of the week’s NFL games. Each week we’ll announce our expectations along with selective commentary in the Football Prophesies.

 

NFL Week 2

Seattle at Pittsburgh: Pittsburgh

Pittsburgh is loaded with very angry men.

Cleveland at Indianapolis: Indianapolis

Manning or no, Indianapolis likes them some home turf.

Kansas City at Detroit: Detroit

This is not your grandfather’s pride.

Baltimore at Tennessee: Baltimore

The Ravens aren’t just angry: they’re blood thirsty.

Oakland at Buffalo: Buffalo

Buffalo destroyed Oakland’s AFC West counterpart, Kansas City, in Week 1.

Arizona at Washington: Washington

Washington looked good against the Giants in Week 1.

Tampa Bay at Minnesota: Tampa Bay

Donovan McNabb looks bizarre in purple.

Jacksonville at New York Jets: New York

Rex Ryan literally eats Jaguars for breakfast.

Chicago at New Orleans: Chicago

The Ditka Bowl: Chicago by 7 Ditkas.

Green Bay at Carolina: Green Bay

Green Bay looks like a juggernaut.

Dallas at San Francisco: San Francisco

Tony Romo is not a real man.

Cincinnati at Denver: Denver

Tim Tebow has enlisted God to help the Broncos prosper.

San Diego at New England: New England

San Diego never plays well east of San Diego.

Houston at Miami: Houston

Houston looks good this year. Miami still looks turquoise.

Philadelphia at Atlanta: Philadelphia

Vick’s return to Atlanta. Eagles: 24, Falcons: 14, PETA: 9

St. Louis at New York Giants: St. Louis

The Rams have Josh McDaniels as their offensive coordinator. what could possibly go wrong?