Every year, thousands of children cast their ballots for the Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Awards, and while I often agree with the general consensus of the world’s tweens, I had some problems with the results this year.

Favorite Voice From an Animated Movie Winner: Eddie Murphy for “Shrek Forever After.”

Ten years ago, Mike Myers and Eddie Murphy voiced the hilarious duo of Shrek and Donkey in the critically and financially successful film “Shrek.” Murphy voiced the wise-crackin’, anthropomorphic donkey who tagged along with Shrek during his quest to save Princess Fiona.

The character got a lot of laughs, but as the franchise dragged on, Donkey got less funny. Now when I see Donkey on screen, the forecast is scattered groans with a high chance of furrowed brow.

Arm Fart Hall of Fame Winner: “Mr. Fergie” Josh Duhamel.

This year, the awards show introduced two brand new awards, the “Favorite TV Sidekick” and the hilariously-titled “Arm Fart Hall of Fame,” given to the star who produces the most fantastic armpit fart.

Normally, I would be all for any flatulence-based competition, but I couldn’t be more disappointed in the award thus far. The contenders were “Win A Date with Tad Hamilton” star Josh Duhamel, “Big Bang Theory” starlet Kaley Cuoco and “The King of Queens” himself, Mr. Paul Blart: Mall Cop.

If there is one man who deserves a farting award, it’s Kevin James. The man relies so heavily on farts it’s not even funny, and for him to lose to someone who started his career on “All My Children” is just a slap in the face to James and fans of fart humor everywhere.

Favorite TV Sidekick Winner: Jennette McCurdy for “iCarly”

I like iCarly just as much as the next guy — in fact, I like iCarly more than pretty much any other guy. So, I shouldn’t be upset about this win, but some serious sidekicks were ignored by Nickelodeon.

Every great TV star has had an equally great sidekick. Yogi had Boo-Boo and Lucy had Ethel. Now, in the year 2011, the best we have to offer is Sam from iCarly?

At a very young age, I became aware of how friendship worked because of positive early ‘90s duos like Doug and Skeeter or Tommy and Chuckie. But with role models like Carly and Sam, there is no telling what the future will bring for sidekicks. I guess the kids aren’t alright.