It may seem that we just had an election, but it’s already time to think about who will take on President Barack Obama in 2012. Republicans will start fielding candidates soon, and many are sure to be the usual suspects. But 2012 allows to look at the non-traditional candidates — you know, famous people with money. Here are five candidates that the country should really consider.

Charlie Sheen

Some people say that a person would have to be crazy or an egomaniac to run for president. Charlie Sheen is both. And he is now unemployed. Sheen has scheduled a cross-country tour, which presents a perfect opportunity to grow support for his candidacy.

Americans already know about many of the skeletons in Sheen’s closet. Nothing else that comes out is likely to shock anyone, making him invulnerable to scandal. Plus, he won’t have a black sheep family member because he is the black sheep in his family. More importantly, it would be incredible to watch him claim he is “winning” when he falls behind in the polls.

With Jon Cryer, the whiny-yet-responsible co-star of “Two and a Half Men,” as his vice-presidential pick, Sheen would be an unstoppable warlock of a president for eight inexplicably popular seasons/years.

Platform: Attack Libya with “violent torpedo of truth”; multiple First Goddesses; nuclear football briefcase full of cocaine.

Slogan: “‘Winning’ America’s Future. #tigerblood”

Christopher Nolan

The United States needs a leader who can handle a massive budget, a complex government and big egos in Congress. Massive budgets? Complexities? Egos? Sounds like a job for writer and director Christopher Nolan.

Nolan could surely think up imaginative solutions for the country’s problems. They may take three hours to explain, but it will be worth it.

Plus, who cares if he isn’t an American? Nobody makes a big deal of birth certificates. Besides, did you see “The Dark Knight”? So awesome.

Platform: More Joseph Gordon-Levitt; would keep our dreams safe from terrorists; would reveal ending to “Inception.”

Slogan: “I believe in Christopher Nolan.”

Billy Beane

Want someone who can make the most of a small budget in a competitive environment? Billy Beane, the general manager of the Oakland Athletics, is your man.

Beane, the subject of the 2003 book “Moneyball,” has consistently fielded a competitive baseball team on a budget that is dwarfed by that of the team’s American League rival, the New York Yankees. Bean uses a method called sabermetrics, a complicated but successful way of statistically analyzing players.

However, Beane has a few things going against him. One is that he is still relatively unknown outside of baseball fans. Another is that some baseball fans might confuse him with Billy Bean, the former baseball player most famous for coming out of the closet after his playing days ended.

Luckily, Beane could become a household name once the movie based on “Moneyball,” with a screenplay co-written by Aaron Sorkin of “The Social Network,” is released in fall 2011. Who plays Beane? Brad Pitt. Your move, Obama.

Platform: Would not bore us by explaining sabermetrics; would allow America to fly under the radar but still be awesome; would stock America’s minor and major league governments with cheap, young talent.

Slogan: “Vote for Brad Pitt”

Zombie Abraham Lincoln

Perhaps, in these troubled times, our country needs experience. Look no further than the reanimated corpse of America’s 16th president — a man who presided over the most troubled years of our country’s existence — Abraham Lincoln.

Zombie Lincoln’s candidacy couldn’t come at a better time. For one, zombies are still pretty big right now. And who better than Lincoln to heal a fractured nation? Granted, Zombie Lincoln might scare some in the religious crowd, who would dislike the idea of an unholy, undead man in the White House. Also, Zombie John Wilkes Boothe and a few stubborn Southerners would likely try to derail his candidacy. But a Republican who can win over black voters should never be discounted.

Finally, Zombie Lincoln should be able to argue that he is exempt from the 22nd Amendment, which limits a president to two terms in office, since it wasn’t written until nearly a century after Lincoln’s tenure in office.

Once he gets past those pesky gay rumors, Zombie Lincoln should be considered a viable candidate.

Platform: Would reduce the government to a more manageable 1860s size; would guarantee that all Americans can have the right to own “a house divided…into four bedrooms and two baths!”; would eat the flesh of America’s enemies; would not eat the flesh of Americans.

Slogan: “Save the Union…Again!”

Ralph Nader

Just kidding. Nobody would vote for Ralph Nader.